Friday, October 2, 2009









Parshat Ha'azinu from G-dcast.com

More Torah cartoons at www.g-dcast.com

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

On the High Holidays

With the Day of Awe almost here, it behooves me to take some time and put up my feet, take a breath, and breathe a blog before the big days are upon us.

When I was a youunger student rabbi, one of the congregants commented to me after the holidays that he did not 'get as much' out of the services as he had in years past. I am not sure if it was because he found the music dull, the sermons uninspiring or because he had other things on his mind. But for some reason, that comment stuck in my mind.

Over the course of the next 20 plus years, and whenever I begin to approach the High Holidays, I remember what he said. But I have formulated a different answer. I suppose that I would say, "I understand that you did not get as much out of these days as you would have liked, but how much did you bring to these days?" It changes the question from one of being entertained to one reflecting the seriousness of these challenging days.

Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur are not plays. Although there is a certain amount of staging and choreography, the music has to be right and the air conditioner has to work, these days are about ultimate issues of making life matter, reconnecting with God, getting right with those we have wronged, turning and returning to our original and most noble selves. This is not the kind of stuff you do when you go to see "Phantom of the Opera" or "Evita" - my favorite plays.

These days are about struggle. They are about discomfort. They are about questions revolving around some of the most important issues of life.

It is not wonder that we should all take a breath before we enter these days. For, as these days remind us, they may be the last breaths we ever take and every breath we take should be worthwhile, worthy of blessing, and noble.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Friday, July 24, 2009

Sent to the Congregation 7/24/09

A word from Rabbi Stanway...

Clearly the events in New Jersey in the past couple of days are on everyone's mind and lips. Corruption, bribery, harvesting in organs, rabbis and politicians getting arrested is head-spinning. Even CNN said that "even in a State which is no stranger to corruption, this case seems to take the cake." I agree.

Whenever Jews are in the news when they have allegedly done something illegal (Madoff, et al.) it brings shame upon us all. With the events happening, literally, in our own backyard and the Syrian Jewish community under scrutiny again, parts of the Hassidic community under the magnifying glass and the press taking every opportunity to use the word 'rabbi' to discuss some of those charged, it is embarrassing to us all, to say the least.

All over town, at the JCC, the Federation, temples, yeshivot and anywhere else Jews gather, this is subject of the day. And it ought to be. What these men and women did was betray their communities' trust and was a Hillul Hashem - a true desecration of God's name.Still, however tempted we are to deride these people, let us not. There are plenty of others who will have a field day smearing all Jews because of the actions of these ones. We ought not to be among them.

As Jews we ought to speak and act as Jews are supposed to. Whether we like it or not, people judge all Jews by what some Jews do. We could - and should - live our lives within the law, with high ethical standards, with tzedakah and righteousness and goodness. If we have something bad to say about someone, let us keep it to ourselves. We must be sure not to give 'pitachon peh' - literally 'a mouth opening' - an excuse - to others to find a reason to justify their negative image of Jews. Instead of having people judge what these Jews and fellow New Jerseyans have done, let all of us be the bearers of what Jews are and do. Let us be the examples of righteousness and goodness and ethical behaviour. Let us earn our livings honestly and let our speech reflect only the best that is in us all.

I don't know if any or all of these people did what they are alleged to have done and I can't control the way people look at Jews based on these allegations. What I can control, though, is what I say and how I live my own life. Perhaps that will be the example of how a Jew really ought to live. I hope you join me in this effort.

Friday, June 26, 2009

The tenth anniversary celebration begins tonight and we will be having a wonderful time looking back over what we have accomplished together in the past decade.

When I was speaking with Stella about how to frame my remarks, she said something that was very, very important. She reiterated what all of us have been saying for the past years, namely that where the temple is now, what we are doing, how we are reaching out to make Torah and Judaism relevant is not the doing of one person or one committee. Where we are is truly a team effort and every person in the congregation, regardless of how active, is an important part of the Beth Miriam family.

We use the word 'family' so loosely today. Corporations speak of their 'corporate family' and social groups of all kinds speak in the language of 'family.' But the truth is that, too often, these 'families' care nothing for each other and the word becomes hackneyed and meaningless. But, since Beth Miriam was founded more than a century ago, we have sought to truly become a family.

A family cares for one another and is there when the need arises. We share joys and sorrows as one, celebrate our accomplishments in times of happiness and console one another in times of sadness. Of course, not everyone can know everyone else or be involved in everyone else's lives. Still, when something happens, for good or bad, in the temple, it ripples through and affects us all.

I have been truly blessed to have been chosen to serve as the rabbi of this congregation. In the past ten years you have embraced me and my family - nuclear and extended. You have brought me into your homes and your lives. I have been privileged to comfort you in your hospital beds, to dance with you at your weddings, to create deep and abiding friendships and even to accompany your loved ones to the grave. And all of you have been there for my family and me when we had our own sorrow and joys.

These past ten years have been extraordinary in every way. I never would have imagined a decade ago that we would be in the place we are now. You brought me here as much as I led you. And, like all people in love, you have responded to me as I have to you. Maybe that is what makes Beth Miriam so special.

I don't know what the next decade will bring. Come to think of it, I don't know what tomorrow will bring. But one thing I can be sure of: I will come to 'work' tomorrow morning not simply as an employee of Beth Miriam. I will come as one who runs toward the one he loves. Indeed, I come to work with untapped energy ready to lead and learn this magnificent congregation.

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for an incredible weekend of celebration of Beth Miriam. It is an honor beyond to words to serve you all.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Iranian Scorpions

Being the techno-geek that I am, I have joined the Twitter revolution. In case you don't know what that is, Twitter is what is a component of the Internet "social media." It is basically a site where users 'tweet' - that is, send each other 140 letter messages - very short bursts of information. I have found it to be utterly useless as I have not figured out why anyone (other than my family and maybe Marjie!) would want to know where I was and what I was doing at any given moment.

However, since the 'uprising' in Iran began protesting the alleged re-election of Ahmadinejad, I have been following, first hand, the tweets of a certain #persiankiwi who has been at all Mousavi rallies and gives what appears to be more up-to-date and accurate information than CNN. I have no idea who s/he is but have been addicted to Twitter for the past couple of days because of his/her updates.

Mouavi (which, by the way, comes from the word 'Musa' meaning 'Moses' - in other words his last name means 'Jewish' - don't get excited, he isn't!) seems to be the darling of the ones demonstrating for freedom. But, again, please don't get excited. He was the President of Iran during the war with Iraq in which a million soliders died, had thousands of his opponents murdered before he 'ran' for re-election, promised to 'eradicate Israel as a cancerous tumor,' started the Iranian nuclear program, and is a devout follower of the Iranian revolution. He may not be as 'bad' as Ahmadinejad but we must not fool ourselves or delude ourselves by thinking that he is any kind of democratic, peaceful, or non-radical leader. He is just not as loud.

I don't know what the Iranians want. I don't even know if they know. Do they want to continue to finance terror? Do they want to drop bombs on London and Tel Aviv as they have promised? Do they want to oppress anyone who disagrees with them as they have in the past? The indications seem to suggest that the answer is 'no.' I don't believe it - at least no yet. As much as I am wrapped up in the up-to-the minute reporting, these are all the same people who danced in the street on 9/11 and who celebrate when Jews and Americans die from terrorism.

But, let's give them the benefit of the doubt just this once. Maybe this is something new. Maybe they have changed and have seen that this behavior is abhorrent to most of the rest of the world. I will wait and see.
All of us, especially as Jews, support their quest for freedom and democracy. But it may happen that, just as Solomon made the mistake of using Jewish forced labor (really!!) was out of the picture, his son, Rehoboam, said to the people, "My father imposed a heavy yoke on you, and I will add to your yoke; my father flogged you with whips, but I will flog you with scorpions.'" Let's hope our Twitter friends in Tehran who are so excited now don't wake up soon with scorpions in their beds.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Join us for service on June 5, 2009 at 8 am. We'd love to have you and welcome you to Beth Miriam. Bring a friend or come alone: either way you will find yourself in the warmest temple around.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

The summer is here! As we wind down from the school year and academic year in general I can now focus on what is coming up.

At the end of June, I will have completed 10 full years of serving as the rabbi of this amazing congregation. The celebrations will last for the weekend of June 26-28 and Stella tells me to get some SPF 35 suntan lotion because I can count on being roasted! I am happy to be the target of all the jokes. After all, I know how important it is to laugh at the guys who are supposed to be steering the ship.

But, seriously, I am thrilled that the congregation feels comfortable enough to laugh at me. I think it really shows a trust that we have all created in the past decade. Trust is a hard thing to come by these days. There is distrust of almost everyone because so many people have their hidden agendas. Usually it is to extract money out of someone else. Everyone from Bernie Madoff to the government to the guy running the shop down the street always seems to have an angle.

I like to think that that is not the case here and I believe that one of the undercurrents of the celebration is that Beth Miriam is open and forthright, flexible, educational, inspirational and responsive. These are all the ingredients for a sucessful temple and in the past ten years, we have built on the firm and solid foundation of those rabbis and congregants who have come before us.

I am looking forward to this celebration on so many levels but, surely one of them must be that I need a good tan. I am thrilled to be able to laugh with you and look forward to it so much.

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Beginning of Summer

As the year winds down, I am drawn to looking forward and backward. Over the past couple of weeks, I have looked backward and have reflected on what TBM has accomplished this year. But, as the summer begins, it is time to look forward. Ecclesiastes asks, "who can tell him what the future holds?" Indeed, that is true. We have no idea if our ideas will work but, to paraphrase Ecclesiastes, 'who cares?!' If we do not plan, we go nowhere. And so, our plans are in the works for next year. Here is what we have planned:

i) renovation of the Religious School wing - Phase I
ii) continued Talmud and Theology course and other learning opportunities
iii) Intro to Judaism/B'nai Mitzvah/Conversion course
iv) continued active affiliates with even more frequent programs
v) professionally managed outreach to non-members
vi) new 'branding' for the temple to solidify our identity
vii) professionally designed website
viii) trip to Israel, March 2010
ix) training clinic for service leaders
x) training clinic for young songleaders
xi) continued growth of the religious school

This is a big agenda and there are lots of steps before we get from here to there. But there is no doubt in my mind that we will make it and create in our temple a place that is truly extraordinary.

I better eat my Wheaties!

Friday, May 1, 2009

The End of the School Year

As I mentioned in my "From the Rabbi" , as the school year ends, there comes with it a sense of reflection. Now that we are in May and there are only a couple of weeks to go, the reflection is filled with celebration.

I have seen what our school has accomplished in the past year. Frankly, it is quite incredible. The level of programming and creative activities, the professionalism of the teachers, the absence of any real discipline problems, the energy of the students, the worship experiences and the learning on so many levels by the children is truly wonderful. How can we not celebrate those accomplishments?

This month we will be having the Grade 7 Family service which is a Siyyum - a ceremony of conclusion - which is a celebration of their finishing their lower school careers. We will have the Youth Group celebrate their accomplishments and share the Shabbat as they lead us in a creative service this month, as well. And, in that service is also Confirmation, a huge accomplisment. This month, we will also be awarding the students who have, individually, accomplished great things. What a celebration! (By the way, for a full listing, see the calendar.)

I enter the summer knowing that I will see most of these students again in the Fall. I thank you all for your support for the school and your continued presence and influence in our children's lives even though your kids may not be there anymore. The tree you planted continues to bear fruit the fruit that these children produce is sweet, indeed.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Welcome to this week's blog. There is a wonderful worship opportunity to share with you this weekend. Our Kindergarten children will be participating in the service and we will share the joy with their families. You know, when most of us were growing up, the bima was such a scary place. We would never dare to lead a congregation for a Shabbat service or even participate in a service - at least not until after we were bar or bat mitzvah. At least, that is the experience of most of us.

There is something to be said for that. After all, if there is not sense of the sacred on the bima then it becomes regular and not very special. But we live in different times and the Jewish experience can not be presented as untouchable or scary. Still, we have to keep the sacredness of the bima. Having children on the bima does not detract from its sacredness. Disrespect does. Our responsibility is to teach our children respect for the bima but we can't do that unless we can get them up there. Our family service, then, even at such a young age as the Kindergartners, are opportunities to teach.

And then, after the service, I would like you to do something: say mazal tov to one of the children. Your words can have a lasting effect. Tell them you appreciated how they behaved on the bima and that their service was beautiful.

Having children on the bima is but one of the beautiful traditions we have at Beth Miriam. And what better way to teach the beauty of our tradition than to teach it to our children and invite them to be a part of it.

I look forward to seeing you on Friday at 7:30.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Come hear the rest of the sermon at Temple Beth Miriam, 180 Lincoln Ave, in Elberon, NJ this Erev Shabbat, April 17th. You are most welcome to worship with us and enjoy the peace of Shabbat in an embracing and warm community.

Questions about TBM? Call the rabbi at 732-222-3754.

And on another subject...

The end is nigh! -- the end of Passover, that is. Once again, the Festival has come and gone and leaves matzah crumbs and memories of wonderful S'darim in its wake. I have the especially great memories this year: Abraham came home from college for Seder and it was a joy to have all my children at the table once again; my brother in law and sister in law were here with their four children and some other friends who we welcomed into our home; the Men of TBM seder. Of course, I will also remember the very ancient tradition that we just invented -- a post Seder bonfire in our backyard! It was so cool roasting kosher for Passover marshmallows over the firepit and laughs and giggles were abundant.

Each year we enter Passover anticipating what will be and each year I look back and, almost always, say 'Wow.' This was another 'wow' year.

Purim is past. Pesach is past. What's ahead? The Tenth Anniversary Celebration of our being at TBM at the end of June (e-mail cinsing@aol.com if you want to be a part of the Ad Journal), Camp (yeah Shiur!), and the beginnings of the High Holiday (!) planning. Of course, we have to sneak getting Naomi to college this summer and SaraAnn's bat mitzvah...

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Rabbi Stanway's introduction to the Friday sermon, "Fast Food Nation" on April 10, 2009. Join us for services on Friday at 8 pm to hear the whole thing.

Beth Miriam invites you to join us for services. You certainly do not have to be a member of the temple. Come, worship, and celebrate.

You can see the entire sermon in written form from this link (after it is uploaded).

And now for something completely different...

This morning at 6:20 AM there were 19 of us at the boardwalk by the ocean to watch the sun come up and recite the liturgy said every 28 years for the Blessing of the Sun.

As a lay science person, I know that the sun being in exactly the same position as it was on the moment of creation is hardly fact. After all, the galaxy spins so the sun can't be where it was, not to mention the fact that the galaxy is itself traveling through space. So what was the purpose of this ceremony that says that, on sunrise, the Sun is precisely where it was at the moment of its first creation on the fourth day, according to tradition? It is simple: though I will not take the tradition literally, I will take it seriously. It is a tradition that stresses the magnificence of creation and of the reality that we are part of the cosmic scene - and it also teaches us something very humbling.

To know that we are parts of this world is to acknowledge our place in it. And, to acknowledge our place is to recognize that we have a responsiblity to it. That is affirming. But this ceremony also teaches us that, even if we weren't here, the earth would still revolve around the sun, the sun around the galaxy and the galaxy would still travel through the ever-expanding universe. That is very humbling.

We are certainly not the center of the galaxy, let alone the universe but knowing that we are here and knowing that we are a part of universe opens our eyes to the gift of life and our hearts to the possiblities of what we can do in this world. If I have to get up early every 28 years to affirm that, how magnificent the opportunity! Indeed, it is something we all ought to be doing every day.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009





Want to hear the rest of the sermon? Come join us this Friday night for Shabbat at 8 PM. 180 Lincoln Avenue in Elberon.



The entire sermon will be available for download several days after Shabbat at a link at this site. Just click on the graphic to the left and you will be taken to the TBM Sermon Page.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Celebrating Shabbat with Grade One

I have always like the Family Service at Beth Miriam. To watch the kids lead the service is a joy, not only for me, but for the whole congregations. Sure, sometimes their reading is a little choppy and sometimes their voices are not quite loud enough. Those are small things when juxtaposed to what they are learning.

Like many of you, I grew up in a temple where the bima was not for children. It was a place of adult dignity only. There is something to be said for that, but I ask my self, 'at what price?' When we effectively 'close off' the bima to the children, we are doing them a disservice. We are not letting them grow in their Jewish experiences.

What do you remember from your early Jewish experiences? Undoubtedly, there are wonderful memories from when you were given a special opportunity. The feeling of joy and accomplishment are as real for a child whether on the bima or the soccer field. I and the teachers and the board encourage that growth, those feelings, and building those Jewish memories.

And so, tonight, I will kvell with the congregation as our 6 year-olds help us discover what Shabbat joy is.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Purim 2009

Once again, our Purim celebrations were simply fabulous. With Judyth Brown at the helm and with invaluable assistance from Sue Peckman and Alex Ivey, and with the enthusiasm of so many children, our Purim spiel 'The Shmoozers' (based on 'The Producers') was a smash hit. The evening began with dinner and that, too, was simply wonderful.

I love when lots of people gather together to celebrate a Jewish event as a community. There is something so strengthening and warming about it that it simply makes me smile. Another great Purim celebration at Beth Miriam. I'm smiling!